“CUT” This Middle Finger Up Your Shmoozla Coalition Government!

If you live in England  you would certainly have heard about (cue in dramatic music) THE CUTS. We received endless warnings since last year about the pending Budget Report 2011, with some of us preparing for the blow while others attempted to live in denial (that would be me).  Frankly,  it wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated; maybe due to the colossal damage caused by the  Japan tsunami and of course the Libya saga which, to me, made everything else seem relatively unimportant and petty.

Before I get into this whoopla, I would like to say that in my opinion, it is unjustifiable to cut millions of pounds from public services such as the NHS and reduce funding in key sectors. Audaciously, this same government manages to find capital to fund and meddle in foreign affairs by providing assistance to Libyan rebels  in their quest to topple Gaddafi from power; simply put WAR – AGAIN! (Anybody remembers the ‘BLAIR’ witch project?- you see how I did that?). Apparently it costs Britain half a million pounds for each bomb dropped on Libyan soil (any mathematicians in the building?), I reckon a couple of those have already been dropped at least, I may be wrong here!

Coming back to the blimmin cuts; I have to get a little bit cockney, it  translates  frustration particularly well in writing. To clarify, the budget deficit and the national debt are two different things. The budget deficit is the amount of increase on the national debt. When politicians talk about ‘reducing the budget deficit in half’ ; taking the 2009-2010 figure  £170.8 billion,  it means that they are  aiming for the government to only repay £85.4 billion interest on top of the current interest  incurred; ‘something’ billions! Just think of it as the interest on your credit card. Instead of paying £10, you pay £5 interest (towards the previous loan) plus the interest and amount required on your current account. (Ouch! Cameron may be onto something, we are in serious shite!) Apparently Britain went bust in 1976! The WWII was the sucker that ‘leeched’ our accounts dry! I knew there was a perfectly good explanation for my spirit not taking a liking to the boys gone wild massacre war!

I don’t think that the coalition government are the  bad guys here- Ok a little bit.  After my research (I don’t want to be a bore with all the findings, *yawns), It is clear that Gordon Brown and his government defecated  all over the dance floor – the party is over lads/lasses! We; the common people have to bear the consequences and feel (cue dramatic music again please..) THE JOLT OF THE “SQUEEZE”…because of  the Labour government’ s irresponsible credit card rampage over the past decade.

Yes, the tuition fees increase is  frustrating, pensioners, mortgages, social welfare will be intensely affected. And indeed, fuel prices will rise, so will inflation, businesses will go bust, Britain may lose its AAA rating, I may not eat for a week, unemployment will rise; in fact I have already lost my job. Let’s keep our spirits up, optimism all the way!

I hate it when somebody else is right! Clearly Britain needs emergency measures to be implemented and fast.  I will hate myself forever for saying this but Coalition Government you have my blessing. Go-on lads sail your ship, try not to throw too many people over-board, try not to be too deceitful, Conservatives try not to bully the Liberal Democrats too much, be on your way. Someone needs to take this bull by the horns otherwise my children, your children and the children of our children shall be in deeper shite!

NO TO WAR IN LIBYAAAAAAA!! (randomly jumps on theater stage and runs off)

For my budding economists/ economic enthusiasts here is a link summary of the Budget Report 2011: http://cdn.hm-treasury.gov.uk/2011budget_complete.pdf

NO ,I didn’t want to read it neither!

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