Where Have All The Men Gone?! Musings on Facebook emails….

My ‘other leg’ (bff) contacted me via Facebook email with an interesting question: Where have all the men gone? It took me by surprise a little bit (it fits more into the BBM category of urgent discursive conversations, but hey; bring on the various mediums of communications).  It was very interesting so I thought I’d share it here with my readers.

Please bear in mind that this was a very informal and amicable conversation therefore not much attention was paid to punctuation and grammar – expect some errors. Neither is it  a reflection of my other leg’s writing abilities – she was just losing it very passionate about the conversation! We tend to speak in slang to vent out our frustration – It has that magical stress relieving effect. It also brings back nostalgic memories about our high school and college hay days.

I have included all the colloquial terminologies used in this post in my glossary.

Feel free to share your thoughts and comments if you have an answer to the pertinent question.

  • Somboli Lubwika Mulenga        3 hours ago  S***** L****
Where have all the men gone??        
This morning I got a lift after my shift form a nurse from Zim. She’s pretty has a gentle spirit, God fearing; basically she has “the wife package” nailed but no husband not even a boyfriend?? I know one too many single women; good women. why? where are the men?? I know that women outnumber men in the world but still??
Eh eh eh what is this toooo many products being left on the shelf. It just made me think if I hadn’t been in such a hurry and so focused on getting married young would I be on the shelf right now? Would I be struggling, how do people date these days cos all I’m hearing is internet is the way but this is mainly from white ppl at work. What do blacks do?? 
It seems its not a western problem I know ppl in Zambia where you think it would be easy where marriage is still “respected” still hunting, eagerly waiting, still hoping that their turn will come. Angela my child minder says in Ghana they don’t care if they see your man is married they just want a man and they make it their mission to get him, married or not! Her friend’s husband went on holiday to Ghana but is he back yet?… Nah mate some chick bedazzled him with her vajazzle. So now who’s the wife?? Not the one sitting in England. What is this madness?? Why is it bothering me I captured my man. KMT
  • Madeleine Laini        3 hours ago  Madeleine Laini
    • loooooooooooooooooooooooool what on earth is happening to you lol my bbm is back..ermmmmmmmmm will need to gather my thoughts n’ get back to you
  • Somboli Lubwika Mulenga        3 hours ago  S***** L****
    • I just don’t get it I’m hearing this toooo many times!!!! Are they less men or all the men are staying single?? I have girls I want to be a mother of the bride. Look at all the single women around!!!
            Madeleine Laini        3 hours ago   Madeleine Laini

  • WTF!!! your eldest daughter is 3 years old !!!looooooooool cut them some slack. My darlings shall value marriage. It is not the prison perception that we see cultivated in society. They will understand that it is a partnership between two people who love one another and have a common purpose and goal in life.  A covenant between themselves and God. 
  • Madeleine Laini        3 hours ago

    Madeleine Laini
    • that’s why my sis says she will marry in Congo, too many useless / what-less Congolese men out here. Women are just too picky. Culture of partying, career first, not marriage being promoted media wise. So people want to have fun and fear being tied down. By the time they want to settle they realise that they must date for a while (time consuming) and it may or may not work, then start again (even more time being consumed).
  • Somboli Lubwika Mulenga        2 hours ago  S***** L****

    • Nah blud I know too many home girls the total opposite to the girl you described. Take V***** for instance. She’s all about home life. She has a career but it’s not her life, she’s not a party animal and she’s not thinking she deserves a millionaire so won’t talk to average Joe. Is it because she’s at church where all the men are taken and no fresh faces and not in the club and looking online??? And what about M****she’s not career party ect
  • Madeleine Laini        2 hours ago  Madeleine Laini

    • S****** was saying the same thing. But I told her that it is not that you (women) lack choices, in fact she has too many choices and cannot pick . You (women) want the perfect man so must really figure out how much they can be prepared to compromise. 20, 40, 50 ,5, 10 % anyone can marry I think that’s why Las vegas is there. It is a question of caliber and standards one seeks in their mates.
  • Somboli Lubwika Mulenga        2 hours ago  S***** L****

    • What choice?? Nobody’s knocking to pick from???? Ask T**** she says she doesn’t get chirpsed (now their’s a word form the past)
  • Madeleine Laini        2 hours ago  Madeleine Laini

    • lol  @ ‘chirpsed’ (gotto love college days). from the time she stays @ home lol I think if I was on the market i’d get some1. Why are poeple so freaked out. Travel, do different things etc. you want a man from Liverpool Street and Canary Wharf but you hang in Elephant. Working in The City not Croydon is always a start lol
  • Madeleine Laini        2 hours ago  Madeleine Laini

    • LMAO @ “Nah mate some chick bedazzled him with her vajazzle” loooool
      On a serious note, I’m feeling you. I think our generation (high college/ university friends/peers) are nearing 30 years of age. People are having children while others are getting married, so understandably the majority are freaking out because the realities of life kick in – jobs prospects, career choices, marriage, lifestyle; there is so much pressure to make the right decisions and at the right time. 
      30 is that pivotal age; but It must be harder to date because most people would have gone through various experiences in previous relationships so because a bit more selective and clear about the qualities their partners should have.
  • Madeleine Laini        2 hours ago  Madeleine Laini

    • *typo error : so become a bit more selective..
  • Somboli Lubwika Mulenga        about an hour ago   S***** L****

    • I displayed the same confidence you have of nabbing a mate in this client. I gave T****** the same talk of not staying at home ect. Its just this morning with V**** I thought why aren’t you married you tick more boxes than I do and just last week I was talking to a female doc 28 single, pretty, friendly and leads a full life doing those adventure things white folk do marathons mountain climbing ect but is also a home girl not party animal I would marry them if I were a dude but where are the dudes, where are they? So it got me thinking maybe I would be struggling if I were unattached. 
      What do these men want. Apart for you I’m yet to attend a wedding of my close friends still to attend/organise a hen night even baby showers for my bffs are hard to come by! Look at L*******, sexy sassy and smart only just found a man only just she states she’s more than ready for marriage and babies. We wait with bated breath for a proposal.
  • Somboli Lubwika Mulenga        about an hour ago  S***** L****

    • Its seems the solution is to move to China. With its long history of favouring male children and throwing away females it seems they have a shortage of females and they are now a much sought after commodity
  • Madeleine Laini        20 minutes ago  Madeleine Laini

    • If you sought a low-life then they’d be queues awaiting kmt. So where are all the men gone? I really do not know! LMAO @ china. The Chinese are hardly into inter-racial relationships so mingling would be challenging lol. Also ROTFL@ ” a much sought after commodity” . Girl; you are hilarious!
    There are too many Lotharios who want to live the MTV lifestyle with the hunnies and have video candy girls at their beck and call. It is sad though because a lot of men in London seem to be growing into boys (the man-boy effect!), falling in love and getting hitched is so 20th century. You’d think that our parents (who met and married in their early 20’s) had left us the tricks of the trade…
    Take you doc friend for instance or V***** or M*****; they are probably the first generation of well educated, career-driven women so compromised settling down and having babies for the latter.
    Now the challenge would be to find a man, who not only matches their intellect, bank balance, is comfortable with being a stay-at-home dad if that was an option added the usual female-tick-boxes. By that time most man-boys are too self-centered to want to commit.
  • Somboli Lubwika Mulenga           2 hours ago S***** L****

Last word…..learn Chinese and thank God that I managed to convince C**** I’m marriage material and I don’t have to join the masses fighting for a man.

  • Madeleine Laini       2 hours ago Madeleine Laini

Sometimes you gotto tell a man exactly what you want in life, otherwise he’ll take you for a long ride…..#notimefortimewasters…#bepreparedtocompromise…#bedecisive…..#tellitlikeitis…



  1. niinaniakabesa · · Reply

    loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool is all I will do for now

  2. Christelle · · Reply

    loooooooooooooooooooooooooool This had me laughing instead of chillin with my friends :] we are here listening to some dancehall music , …. Gr8 article


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