My Apology. Baby I’ve Got My Mojo Back!

“To follow the natural cycle of the planet, in the spring we plant seeds and in the fall we harvest. So this is the perfect time of year to take some time to reflect on what you want to create; set some goals.”

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18

These passed couple of weeks have been a period of reclusion for me. I have been feeling a little distant and cut off from everything around me. I have been re-evaluating certain choices that I have made, re-thinking my life plan, questioning myself.. ( I wonder if that is the woman in me, the child in me or me being human; constantly over-analysing things…). Everyone has their ups and down days…well I have had two weeks of those which is very unlike me. Thank heaven that it is over.

I am always in awe that people actually still visit my blog for updates (yes, I did fit in time to check my stats) and this made me feel a sense of guilt; that perhaps I had let my readers down. This is my little letter of apology (sheds a tear). I am grateful for my friends and ‘MR Man’ who are a support system; they nudge me, probe me, comfort me, reassure me, encourage me and remind me of  the important task at hand. I am most grateful to God and to  my faith because in the midst of things life is a personal journey. As much as our loved ones are around, it is up to the individual to make the decisions and pave their own way.

During this time, I pondered the idea of feeling low and considered that maybe it is a state we choose to bring onto ourselves; we choose to remain low and waste time lingering in self-pity. What we perceive as a hurdle may simply be our fear of failure that restricts us from seeing past the walls we have built around ourselves – caving ourselves within a prison of self-doubt fabricated by insecurities. Realising that no matter how well we think we know ourselves, that there will always be areas which need to be improved is a step towards the right direction. We all have imperfections, but this is weighed up against our ability to connect with our subconsciousness – or the little voice from within – in order to stimulate a particular feeling, emotion or quality that is greater and more powerful than who we are. Paying attention to the journey we have taken to get to where we are now and finding the strength in our spirit to maintain a positive outlook on the larger picture is where wisdom and growth commences: an undivided or unbroken completeness or totality with nothing wanting; wholeness; in the spirit, in the mind, in the body.

I scoured the net for a little inspiration from other bloggers and came across this very lovely note of encouragement; a reminder about not dwelling on negative feelings and staying connected to one’s faith. Unfortunately, I could not find the name of the author. I decided to share it with you. I hope it rings a cord and helps someone to help themselves.

Negative feelings and emotions and thoughts drag us all right into the pit of self-pity where one negative thing will draw many more other negative things to it. For example someone hurts you by saying something that hurt. You either ignore the thought especially if the shoe does not fit or you choose to run with the suggestion and allow it to hurt you. The thought makes you feel vulnerable and insecure so you begin to feel unworthy and critical of yourself, you even entertain self-pity big time; then the more you think about it the more angry you become with this person for daring to say what was said to you. That anger works on you and you begin to think of pay back – revenge – and so the one thing leads to another and another and another until something nasty happens! It leads to destruction.
 People who get into a negative situation listen to the lies and deception that negative places in their minds and run with it and when it comes to forgiveness, cannot find it in their hearts to forgive, because their negative side tells them they shouldn’t forgive, the person who hurt them owes them and so it goes on.The thing is if one goes that road – it brings you down and convinces you that you are stuck and are never going to see success again – you are doomed and that is that so you sit complaining and moaning and grumbling about everything.
 Right next to you there is a rope that can take you out of that place but you are so self-observed you cannot even look up. The rope strokes your cheek from time to time to get your attention but you simply brush it aside. Eventually everything and the rope begins to irritate you so you look up and see where the rope is coming from. Suddenly fear tells you not to take that rope and get out and why you mustn’t and you listen to it and sit down again feeling worse for even contemplating the rope. That rope is called the life line of choice. All you have to do is grab it and let it haul you out of the cavern you are in. So what I am saying is to get out of the negative zone you have to choose to do so and get out (take action).
 You have to refuse to give ear to the negative voices who try to grab your ankles and prevent your escape, but choice says “I wont listen to you!” and you refuse to and substitute your thoughts with positive thoughts and opposite to the very ones you entertained. Not only that but you have to begin to give thanks for the things you have that are good. Life, food, clothes, a bed to sleep in, hot water – all the privileges you have and more. Remember God is for you and not against you. Sure you made mistakes in life and he knows that and if you ask God to he forgives you and his forgiveness never remembers the incident again, unlike the forgiveness the world displays. Forgiveness with a condition attached to it. God’s forgiveness is unconditional as is his love. Remember too you are no mistake.                                                                                                                                                               
 God wants you here and your place is needed. We all need you too. You are somebody special and have a purpose as do every one of us. We all have to run the race of time – its part of our being here. Each one of us is unique and to prove that we need only look at our finger tips – nowhere else in the world do you find the identical finger prints!!!! You are one of a kind. Realize this and become positive. Negative say you can’t. You have to choose – no one can do that for you. You are the master of your own life. Protect it and do what is right! Find God and you find a great thing.

I think it speaks for itself. Note to self As for me; I shall stop hollowing in futility.

How do you normally deal with feeling low? Let’s discuss.



  1. Alice Rebecca · · Reply

    Hello Madeleine,

    Thanks once again for the post. Well I guess we all have our times of ups and downs, its a principle “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 . As for me, when I feel low I go back to the Father (God) I spend time reading books cause there are times when I cant even pray. I find comfort in reading and singing worship songs. I praise my way out of every situation. Many times we find ouselves giving and pouring out our all to others and as a result of that we feel drained of energy. We must have time for ourselves to reflect, re-charge and breath again. You cannot be super woman all the time that is why we have “Seed-Time-Harverst” There was a time when I felt like I had to attend to everyone’s need by then I came to a breaking point, realising that I need to balance things. To cut a long story short (lol) when I feel low, I take a break to reflect and recharge after all God didnt create everything on the same day or make everything known on the same day… I like what the note says “Negative feelings and emotions and thoughts drag us all right into the pit of self-pity where one negative thing will draw many more other negative things to it” Totally true. Stay blessed xxx

    1. Thank you Alice, for your generous comment. I enjoy getting tips from others. I felt like that too. I can be such a ‘giver’ that in the midst of things I forget about myself. The best way to explain my mood is through the word ‘nothing’ ; as though time had stopped and I was observing things from an ‘outter body’ perspective (poor English here). Good analogy from you though.


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